Lesson Learned From 10 Year Old Not From Cop

The following post is by the Co-founder of WorkingClassParenting.com, Omar De Pablo:

I hate to start out with a cliché; however, how often have we as parents thought to ourselves or spoken, “do as I say and not as I do?" We discipline our children on particular matters and expect, no, demand, consistent obedience. Meanwhile, we ourselves are lacks-a-daisy about the same issue.

Multiple times in my sons early years I've stressed the importance of wearing seat belts. Before the car would row out, everyone was to have their seat belts on. After a while it became habit for him to get the seat belt on, but habit for me to leave it off. So with time, the tables turned. My son, now 10 years old, reminds me every time I get in the car to “get your seat belt on dad, what if we get in an accident dad, what if you get pulled over dad?" As soon as I was called out I would make some sly remark like, “oh I was going too, or, I forgot, I will now." (You know, trying to keep face.) Like any 10 year old, he is more persistent with a pinch of sarcasm. “You wanna leave us without a dad, I’m sure mom would love to be a widow, or, "Your clothes going to get wrinkled?" Frustrating. I am a grown man and don’t need a 10 year old harping on me…back off, I make my own decisions. Okay, I didn’t say that, but was kind of feeling it.

In training our children, it’s important to realize that they catch a whole lot more than what they are verbally taught. What signal was I sending my son that rules only apply to children. That principles or in this matter, the law, had a particular demographic. That later in life you can pick and choose what you want to obey. What would be the long term effects of such influence?

Running late for work as usual, I had just enough time to get there. I could not be bothered by red lights or slow cement trucks. I wasn’t speeding, but in my usual fashion I forgot one little teency weency thing… my seat belt. Like a scene from Terminator II, a motorcycle cop drops from the sky behind me. Lights flashing as authoritative beacons announcing to all that I was a law breaker. You know no one ever thinks anything positive as your being corralled onto the shoulder. Must be a murderer, possibly drug trafficking. Noooooo, paparazzi just ignorance, I'm not wearing my seat belt. I wasn’t speeding, didn’t run a red light, didn’t change lanes without signaling, why am I being pulled over? As I assume the position and reach for my registration I hear the sarcastic angelic voice of a 10 year old, “where’s your seat belt dad?”

My son was not in the car, but he might as well have been. The officer comes to the window with a stern T-1000 look and as quickly as he asked for my information, he returns with a ticket. No need to lie (wouldn’t) or politeness to gain grace, just good ole’ fashion man up. He pulled away as I sat there, late, and with a ticket.

This is the first I’ve mentioned of this incident. I’ve had more fear of my 10 year old's ridicule than that of the liquid metal, shapeshifting framed cop that stopped me. I hate to end with a cliché, but “practice what you preach” or hear from your kids, “I told you so”.