Parenting: Time Inventory

Dave Ramsey financial adviser and famed radio host proposes to find a place for every cent of your money, or something or someone will. The implication is that unsupervised money tends to disappear on fruitless things. I’d like to take that same model and apply it to our time as parents. Just as a couple of bucks here and there on chips, drinks, etc add up, so does the time we may be wasting on other things other than our children. Believe you me, with all the time management books and new apps out there you would think I would have mastered this art by now. On the contrary, it seems harder every day to manage my time. Seems the minute I purpose to give 15 minutes to my son or daughter, the phone rings, I’m asked to stay late at work or maybe the car acted up and requires a looking at. Obviously there are things that require instant attention, however, once that car is looked at or you arrive home from a long day, are we willing to subtract that time from our “whining down time” and give it to our children.


The fact is, one of the most important gifts a parent can give a child is their presence. When we’re present with our children it lays the path for attunement and resonance. One author stated, “It is home and family that give resonance to life"  It is this richness that is vital to our children’s thoughts, feelings and emotions (humble confidence). You might be thinking this is a strong pill to swallow, “I have two jobs, I’m a single parent, my children are older, etc”. Just as budgeting seems useless at times, it is still needed. Lets be practical. The old cliche goes “how do you eat an elephant, one bite at a time”. If we are practical and consistent there can be a healthy dose of quality time for our children..

For many, childhood might have been a time of betrayal and invalidation where parents time was fractured and they were left potentially disconnected from our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. As a result, security and trust suffered and this bled into our intimate relationships. As adults, we swore it would be different with our kids. On the other hand, think about anytime you felt completely understood and the sense of worth it brought. Wholesome relationships breed a sense of safety and when a person feels safe they cultivate the ability to trust. It is these types of moments our children crave. Be it a craft, a couple of pages read at bedtime, their favorite breakfast, a bike ride, playing catch, or tea party. Think quality over quantity. Engage in moments that require communication and interaction. Its these priorities that need to become priorities. I challenge parents to be the parents they wished their parents would have been and then...better.