Washington Post - Do Rich and Poor Parenting Styles Matter
A recent post by Washington Post columnist Jay Mathews brings up an interesting thought on “Do Rich and Poor Parenting Styles Matter" and frankly asks the question WorkingClassParenting.com is trying to answer. Please read this thought provoking column and ensuing Working Class Parenting's thoughts.
Jay Mathews:
Our country prides itself on expanding opportunity. These days, any legal resident fluent in English and willing to work can get a college degree. More low-income and minority students are being welcomed into the most challenging high school courses. The number of minorities in positions of power has grown.
But are we raising our children in ways that best prepare them to reach their potential? It is a ticklish question that is difficult to discuss because it is so personal and so loaded with unexamined stereotypes. Education writers like me often leave it alone and become unsettled when the issue is directly confronted, as it is in education scholar Michael Petrilli’s new book, “The Diverse Schools Dilemma.”
The varying parental styles Petrilli describes may enrich our country with creative differences. We can pick methods that work best for each of us. Or some approaches may deny kids their best chances for satisfying lives. I am not sure, and I suspect many people share my uncertainty.
This is not a racial divide, research shows. A middle-class, college-educated parent of any ethnicity is likely to be like me: Overscheduling children’s free time but preferring innovative instruction and informal discipline at school.
The research Petrilli cites says working-class and poor parents of any race are more likely to let their children amuse themselves as they see fit once their homework is done but tend to prefer schools with traditional teaching styles and strong discipline.
He cites the work of University of Pennsylvania sociologist Annette Lareau. She and her team closely tracked 12 families of different racial and class backgrounds. They found the center of life in middle-class families was the calendar, with what Lareau said were “scheduled, paid, and organized activities for children . . . in the two-inch-square open spaces beneath each day of the month.” But despite the forced march to improvement that characterized their children’s free time, those parents tolerated a lot of back-talk and often negotiated with children about what they wanted to do. They preferred teachers who did not give orders but encouraged creativity..
Working-class and poor parents, researchers found, left their children on their own on weekends and summer days but were more likely to set strict behavior rules. Those parents tended to like teachers who were tough and structured.
As a nation, we have been arguing for many generations about the best parenting styles. Those of us who prefer lots of scheduled activities but not much discipline should remember that many members of the revered Greatest Generation who won World War II were raised the way many low-income children are brought up today.
Maybe we all muddle through, as I do, and don’t need to worry about what others are doing. I have never been that confident of my own parenting. I admire the way many of the poor and working-class parents I have written about have raised their kids. The Lareau study is a very small sample. Other research and my own reporting tend to support her categories, but only in a general way, with many exceptions. I know some low-income parents drawn to some charter schools because they have organized sports, dance and computer lessons after school and on weekends. Many middle-class parents tell me they wish their kids had less homework and more free time for play.
Workingclassparenting.com:
It is our firm belief that despite social, or economical standings, if parents are determined, they can provide their children with the best possible advantages. There are many great stories of low-income children raising above the dust of poverty and blue collar working class children making lasting impacts. The one thing they all had in common was a team of parents and significant others, not perfect, but supportive and driven. The process may be a little harder, however just as our forefathers did, we too can raise productive, educated children.
Today we have many options for outsourcing. Parenting should not be one of them. Mediocrity has tainted the minds of our young people and so they ride the wave of adolescence only to find themselves stranded with no options. Children are sponges ready to meet expectation. Zig Ziglar said “If you think you can or you think you can't...you're right". We have to parent on purpose, with a purpose.
The role of a parent has never been more critical than it is today. With so many single parents and double parent working homes, distractions have overwhelmed our good parental intentions. We have spoken with many parents who say “I wish, I would, I can’t. We may be evolving as a people; however, in the process of evolving, we’ve over complicated the fact that our children simply require communication and interaction. What will ultimately profit our children is parents working together and benefiting from each others victories and defeats, all the while strengthening the core of the family unit and the fiber of this nation. It has been said “Takes a village to raise a child”, Working Class Parenting believes “it takes a tribe to raise a generation”. Our children deserve better, together we can be better.
Jay Mathews:
Our country prides itself on expanding opportunity. These days, any legal resident fluent in English and willing to work can get a college degree. More low-income and minority students are being welcomed into the most challenging high school courses. The number of minorities in positions of power has grown.
But are we raising our children in ways that best prepare them to reach their potential? It is a ticklish question that is difficult to discuss because it is so personal and so loaded with unexamined stereotypes. Education writers like me often leave it alone and become unsettled when the issue is directly confronted, as it is in education scholar Michael Petrilli’s new book, “The Diverse Schools Dilemma.”
The varying parental styles Petrilli describes may enrich our country with creative differences. We can pick methods that work best for each of us. Or some approaches may deny kids their best chances for satisfying lives. I am not sure, and I suspect many people share my uncertainty.
This is not a racial divide, research shows. A middle-class, college-educated parent of any ethnicity is likely to be like me: Overscheduling children’s free time but preferring innovative instruction and informal discipline at school.
The research Petrilli cites says working-class and poor parents of any race are more likely to let their children amuse themselves as they see fit once their homework is done but tend to prefer schools with traditional teaching styles and strong discipline.
He cites the work of University of Pennsylvania sociologist Annette Lareau. She and her team closely tracked 12 families of different racial and class backgrounds. They found the center of life in middle-class families was the calendar, with what Lareau said were “scheduled, paid, and organized activities for children . . . in the two-inch-square open spaces beneath each day of the month.” But despite the forced march to improvement that characterized their children’s free time, those parents tolerated a lot of back-talk and often negotiated with children about what they wanted to do. They preferred teachers who did not give orders but encouraged creativity..
Working-class and poor parents, researchers found, left their children on their own on weekends and summer days but were more likely to set strict behavior rules. Those parents tended to like teachers who were tough and structured.
As a nation, we have been arguing for many generations about the best parenting styles. Those of us who prefer lots of scheduled activities but not much discipline should remember that many members of the revered Greatest Generation who won World War II were raised the way many low-income children are brought up today.
Maybe we all muddle through, as I do, and don’t need to worry about what others are doing. I have never been that confident of my own parenting. I admire the way many of the poor and working-class parents I have written about have raised their kids. The Lareau study is a very small sample. Other research and my own reporting tend to support her categories, but only in a general way, with many exceptions. I know some low-income parents drawn to some charter schools because they have organized sports, dance and computer lessons after school and on weekends. Many middle-class parents tell me they wish their kids had less homework and more free time for play.
Workingclassparenting.com:
It is our firm belief that despite social, or economical standings, if parents are determined, they can provide their children with the best possible advantages. There are many great stories of low-income children raising above the dust of poverty and blue collar working class children making lasting impacts. The one thing they all had in common was a team of parents and significant others, not perfect, but supportive and driven. The process may be a little harder, however just as our forefathers did, we too can raise productive, educated children.
Today we have many options for outsourcing. Parenting should not be one of them. Mediocrity has tainted the minds of our young people and so they ride the wave of adolescence only to find themselves stranded with no options. Children are sponges ready to meet expectation. Zig Ziglar said “If you think you can or you think you can't...you're right". We have to parent on purpose, with a purpose.
The role of a parent has never been more critical than it is today. With so many single parents and double parent working homes, distractions have overwhelmed our good parental intentions. We have spoken with many parents who say “I wish, I would, I can’t. We may be evolving as a people; however, in the process of evolving, we’ve over complicated the fact that our children simply require communication and interaction. What will ultimately profit our children is parents working together and benefiting from each others victories and defeats, all the while strengthening the core of the family unit and the fiber of this nation. It has been said “Takes a village to raise a child”, Working Class Parenting believes “it takes a tribe to raise a generation”. Our children deserve better, together we can be better.
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